Things can't change while also staying the same
It seems like this has been a lesson on repeat over the past four years, but it is not until recently that its message is really starting to seep in. I’ve mentioned in passing before that changing out Copenhagen for Detroit turned out to be a much harder transition than I originally expected it to be and I have struggled a lot with coming back to the feeling of being at home, both in a literal and metaphysical sense.
And I’ve felt a little stuck in that conundrum. And embarrassed that I keep saying that “I’m new to the area” when I realise I’ve actually lived here for four years. I mean, you can’t really keep saying that after that long, can you? But that’s how I’ve felt; out of my element and not at home.
The feeling has slowly been changing. From feeling at home in our space, to feeling at home in a new country, a new city and within a new community.
The realization that things have to change to, well, change is pretty obvious. But, like most other humans I have this brain that’s programmed to fear change, however much welcome it might be. Quite the paradox. For me, I needed to really let go of my expectations of what things were going to be like in order to see them for what they really are.
And lately, it has become really apparent how much I do the same thing in other areas of my life as well. Hold onto the story I’ve told myself of how things were going to play out. Situations, circumstances, patterns that I want to change but that I also grip tightly onto. Things are staying the same because I've been staying the same. It made me chuckle a bit at myself while I thought of this photo.
So that’s what I am working on currently; being more at home in the now and not in the stories that I hold onto and also calling myself out on my bullshit when it comes up.
I hope I’m not the only one that gets in my own way. If you have it all figured out all the time, good for you! Tell me your secret! If not and you feel a little stuck, here’s a reminder for you and for me: things can’t change while also staying the same.