It's tricky, that's for sure!
So, it feel like the beginning of this month has just disappeared into a weird blur of a time warp. I’ve been working, seen the dentist, to the Detroit Tigers’ Opening Day, and also did a really great popup at the Dames Collective April Morning Mindfuel. And through it all, I’ve also been hit with a hefty dose of imposter syndrome, which has made everything else a little, well, tricky. It comes and goes in waves, as I’m sure it does for most of us. The funny thing though is how no external validation or praise helps. Like the reality of my performance or achievements can’t sink in. That observation just confirms my belief that our reality and experience of the world fully comes from within. When my brain tells me that I’m unable and incapable, well, then that’s my experience. In a way, it doesn’t have anything to do with reality and yet, it is my whole reality. I think that it helps to just observe the insanity that is in my mind from time to time and try my best not to identify with those feelings. Breathing and taking breaks helps me anchor back into the feeling of home and connectedness. The anxiety that follows along with imposter syndrome definitely doesn’t feel like home at all, even though it can almost be comforting in it’s familiarity.
And then I listen to a lot of hip hop, so this month’s playlist is some of my favourites. The ‘no fucks given’ attitude is a little confidence booster and there’s always Ms. Lauryn Hill to remind us:
Girlfriend, let me break it down for you again
You know I only say it cause I'm truly genuine
Don't be a hard rock when you really are a gem